Thursday, October 30, 2008

Excerpt

I just finished reading Kim Meeder's Hope Rising, a wonderful book of stories about how her horse ranch in Oregon is used as a ministry to broken children/youth as well as a rescue operation for abused horses. The last chapter entitled The Choice spoke directly to me and my life. It is exactly what I needed to hear in order to figure out how to carry on day after day amidst all of the challenges I'm facing right now. I don't know how to properly give credit to someone when I quote them, so just know that this is from Hope Rising by Kim Meeder, pages 249-251. I put it all in italics since it's a quote, and put the phrases that hit me hardest in bold.

"So much of our life seems to just happen. We have all shared moments of throwing our hands in the air in utter dismay of a raucous day's offerings. Yet in reality, most of our life is what we choose for it to be. As violently as external forces push, we are still the master of our own will.

Difficulties, hurdles, hardships, whatever name we know them by, one thing is certain-they visit us all. No life is immune from suffering. As certain as we breathe, we will know pain. It is a shapeless void that shifts into as many faces as humanity itself. It has no sense of justice or timing. Like a wall of fire, pain rises where it chooses, consuming whatever it can. It is a famine that gnaws at the soul.

Mounting like impenetrable black fog, pain envelops everything-light, love, hope. It is a dark chasm of loneliness. It is a precipice of despair. It is a wailing child collapsed in a barren orchard.

The view from within this lifeless place is the same in any direction-it is all ash. It wraps around us like a black desolate ring encircling our impoverished soul. There is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. It becomes the truest definition of being surrounded.

When our hope falls to its knees and takes its last gasp before death, there is an answer. It is simple. It lies free for every soul to choose. When you are surrounded, instead of anxiously looking from side to side, look up. Change your view with a new perspective.

Look up and see what the Maker sees. Instead of a destroyed circle, He sees a vital clearing where the light of truth can penetrate. Instead of a ring of ash, He sees previous snaring distractions burned into usable nutrients. Instead of barrenness, He sees a circle where something enduring can grow, something that is beautiful, something that is permanent.

God doesn't see wild flames on every side lapping at our souls. He sees cleansing fire that consumes the dross of complacency. He sees hearts tempered with strength, purified like gold.

God doesn't see a descening black fog encircling its shrouded victims with the icy grip of despair. He sees a temporary veil that encourages faith to rise out of meandering convenience and be galvanized with power into a force that moves mountains.

God doesn' see a hungry precipice yawning open to swallow us whole. He sees the perfect opportunity for hope to unfurl its wings and soar free over logic that tells us what is and isn't possible....

It is true, the pain that we feel in this life is certain. What is equally certain is how we choose to feel about the pain. It can destroy us-or define us.

Like standing on a mountainous trail, we can choose which way to go. We can choose where we end up. When confronted by pain, we can choose to take the descending trail that most often leads to a dark and lonely place, pitted with mires of helplessness, hopelessnss, despair.

Or we can select the ascending trail and, with some effort and perseverance, we can choose to allow our pain to motivate us toward becoming better people, to move us toward a better place. A place where love transcends selfishness, where faith bulldozes the 'what ifs," and where peace enfolds the heart like a warm blanket...."

I am reminded of a scripture that was shared with me by someone dear during another major trial in my life.

"But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tested me, I will
come forth as gold."
Job 23:10
This is one of those moments for me when I can feel God's presence like I can feel these keys under my fingertips.

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